I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
