Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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