Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
