He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
