Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My ATM looks so different sober.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
