my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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