No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
