The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
