whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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