so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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