Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
What a dumb baby whore.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
