I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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