Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she told me i tasted like america
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
