I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
