She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
