Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
