Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
