That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
