the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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