my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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