I'm gonna have a badass scar
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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