I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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