Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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