**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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