the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
