Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
