all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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