no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
