so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
