My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
