i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize