I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
