I just saw a hot homeless man
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
