Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
