i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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