susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
