I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
