What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
