You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
