Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
