You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
