you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
