When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
