So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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