Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
