take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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