i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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