I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
