Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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