oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
