So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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