So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
