Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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