I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize