found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
