the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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