as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Your cock deserves a montage
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
