Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
