i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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