Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize