I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
