I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
