I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
