you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
