C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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