What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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